New Perspective

Just came back from Amber's wedding - was exquisite! Also combined the trip with a day at corporate - feeling so inspired now!

While I was travelling, I finally had some time to reflect. Thought about Logan, grieved a bit, I'm sure there's more to come. Also had to deal with Vinny sending flurries of text messages about how much he loves me, is so sad and lonely, please come home, work it out, etc, ad nauseum. Really just pushed me away even more. Desperation is so unappealing.

Last night, I came across a few old journals. Was shocked to see how much anger, bitterness and resentment I had, even 5-6 years ago. Some floodgates opened, I suppose there will be more of that also.

Today I realize that Vinny's requests of reconciliation are all self-centered. He wants me to go back so that everything will be OK for HIM. If he truly loves me without condition or restriction, he would want what's best for ME, and what makes ME happy.

So, now that I made this breakthrough, I feel much less guilty about standing up for myself.