Housing Dilemma Resolved

4/3/10 - Dad says he is willing to help me buy that house on Columbus Ave.

4/5/10 - I contact the agency handling the house, and I find out that there is water / mold damage. It can be sold only with cash or a rehab loan.

I guess I'll be moving in with Dad.

At least this gives me time to put myself in the best situation possible to buy again on my own .... much much much later.

Conflicting Views

Something that I've been struggling with during this whole process is my viewpoint.

Some days I feel as though I just give up. I give up this committment that I've made to marriage, the house, my gardens, and basically the whole life I've made. There are so many facets of my world that I love, and it breaks my heart to let it all go.

Other days I feel as though I am learning how to take control of myself. I'm beginning to take a stand for my own thoughts and feelings. I'm ready to make my own decisions about everything now. My home, my money, my dogs, even my likes and dislikes. I'm ready to create a new world for myself, with the opportunity for a better outcome than what I predict from married life.

And it scares the crap out of me. It also fills me with thrilling anticipation.

I heard something today that stopped me dead in my tracks:
"Don't make a wishbone where your backbone should be."

I guess it is really that simple.